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Post by me on Feb 13, 2006 14:34:15 GMT
the last few weeks have been the worst days in my life,
i have lost every thing of importance in my life and it seems too easy to just end the pain with the bucket loads of medication im taking. i know how stupid it sounds to say it but if something seems so easy to do without any sign of regret or care in the world for the consaquences, i feel like its the path im supposed to take.
do i follow the path that seems right to me or stay lost in the deppression and die slowly and painfully?
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Post by Verminda Spirit on Feb 13, 2006 15:09:50 GMT
Oh sweetie my thoughts are on their way to you... Please, suicide is not the answer, it's not your path..Think of all your loved ones and how they would feel, they would be so devastated... This period of darkness that you are going through will not last forever, and when you emerge you will be so much stronger.... Can you talk to a family member about how you are feeling?, ask for their help, they will be so gald that you did, after all that's what our loved ones are there for, to go too when we are in trouble or scared.... In the mean time check out this site Hopeline www.hopeline.com they specalize with thoughts of suicide.... I will also light a candle to help you through the darkness and to guide you through this very difficult time, my thoughts are with you.... (((((Hugs)))))...Earth Angel.... |
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Post by watershield on Feb 13, 2006 17:28:56 GMT
As difficult as things seem right now, you must believe that suicide is not a solution.
When we get really depressed it's hard to see what the right answer is. And we need help to do that.
Call the hope line, there are people there that know how you feel right now.
You need to sit down with some one, face to face, holding hands and pour out your feelings.
If not with a family member, your doctor.
Whom ever, but don't hold it inside. That's part of what causing these feelings.
My thoughts are with you
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Post by me on Feb 13, 2006 19:30:58 GMT
their has only ever been one person i could open up to and they aint here any more, but thanks for all your kind words. maybe we might meet in the next life.
i now know what is right and it will be better for every one.
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Post by Verminda Spirit on Feb 13, 2006 21:25:09 GMT
'Me', i personally think you came to this site for a reason, guided even, and that reason was to seek help.......
Sometimes a situation can not heal until you release the challenge completely, so that the healing light can enter it..Your worries will soon be over, because a healing will occur....To realize this healing you must first stop focusing on what is wrong and instead affirm ' everything is in Divine and perfect order right now'...
You have natural healing abilities, and i ask that you have faith....Hold thoughts of love around any situation that seems to need healing, visualize the situation as healed.....You are in my thoughts and a candle burns to give you the strength needed to get you through this darkness....
We are all here anytime you just want to talk.....
Blessings,
Earth Angel....
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Mouse
Novice
hey its Broken angel i changed my name since i am on the healing time
Posts: 97
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Post by Mouse on Feb 14, 2006 10:27:11 GMT
I know what its like to be on that side of Depression and everything Trust me if not anyone esle it is not better to commite suicide please trust me i have treid about 10 times and it dose nothing but my family like i said befor love and support can do millions of things my family showd me life and that i could get better don't give up hope please don't
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Post by me on Feb 14, 2006 17:59:01 GMT
look iv listned to what you'v all said but the only person i feel i can open up to wont even talk to me every time i try she ignors me or hangs up the phone, i feel iv been broken and i dont know what else to do, i havnt eaten in 3 days and i only sleep when i pass out on the chair and that dont last long iv had about one nights worth of sleep in over a week, i am totaly alone with no one else to turn to, i just dont know what to do
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Post by celebrin on Feb 14, 2006 18:06:44 GMT
Like many other people, I have been at a point in my life where it seemed pointless to carry on...BUT things do eventually get better even though it may take a very long time, and when they did I was so thankful that I didn't do anything hasty. As someone who has also lost a relative to suicide, I can also say how devastated your family and friends would be if they lost you.
PLease talk to someone about your feelings! Believe it or not, the world would be a poorer place without you.
Blessings, Celebrin.
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Post by seleena on Feb 14, 2006 18:23:02 GMT
Blessings, Me,
Sometime you hit a point in your life where you are in so much pain and everything seems so pointless. That is the time to reach down into the depths of your soul and find something, anything that can make you hold on. This is the time that your resolve is tested to the limit where you feel no one is listening where you feel everyone is better off without you. I can honestly say that you are on this site for a reason and there will be a big hole in the space that you occupy if you leave.
I don't know you , nor do I know what you are going through. I can tell you what I went through and tell you what I chose to do. I live in an abusive home most of my life. I went from a drunken father who would rather have a bottle than his own kids to a grandmother who didn't want to raise another set of children. My mom tried, but my father managed to get her to the point she felt worthless.
I was abused sexually by two cousins and a neighbour. I was bullied in school from about Grade 3 until Grade 11. I can feel your pain. I wanted to die on a few occassions. Something in me just woundn't take that final step. I use to think I was worthless. I trashed every relationship I was in. (Get you before you get me.) I was angry and bitter.
Then I met a wonderful man. He didn't buy into my surly angry young woman tyraid. He was there for me no matter what I put him through. I was afraid to make a decision, I was afraid of life. He didn't make me better, he just pointed me in the right direction. He stuck through the anger, the bitterness and is reaping the rewards of a devoted and loving wife.
I am now happily married to this man and have been for 16 years. We have two children. Life isn't perfect - still isn't. Would I trade what I have now to go back and change the past? Not in your life. My past has made me what I am. It has given me the gift of love and compassion.
My Mom is now a wonderful strong woman. She had to be to survive what she went through. She is my best friend now. It was a huge struggle to get from where we were to where we are now, but it was worth every single painful step. I look back at those painful memories and see where I was to where I am now and it is almost unimaginable. If I left, I would have hurt so many people and I would have missed out on so many special memories.
I can hopefully tell my story and maybe one person will hear me. Life will never be perfect and without challenges. My friends 13 year old son has been diagnosed with cancer and is in the fight of his life to survive this. I have a chronic illness that leaves me exhausted and sometimes in pain. Would I trade what I have now to feel better? Again, not on my life. I wouldn't have the wonderful man I have, nor would I have the wonderful children and friends.
Life is definately not perfect, but the alternative is not an option until the Lord and Lady tell me it is time.
I hope something I said here will help you. Please Please give yourself time and permission to get through this. You will. I did and you will too.
Seleena
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Post by me on Feb 15, 2006 16:50:17 GMT
now i feel selfish and stupid, my problems seem like nothing compared to what you had to battle, i dont know what i was thinking, thank you and sorry for my selfish atutude.
you people have saved me from the worst possible fate and i am forever indebted to you all, especialy you seleena, now i know what you meen behind the reason why i found this forum and why i am here, why my mind was working that way i cant answer but i know their is a lot more people in the world a hell of a lot worse than me. now its my turn to help and stop being sorry for myself, you are all life savers thank you
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Post by watershield on Feb 15, 2006 17:16:08 GMT
Me
I hope that you can stay with us on the board
Read the posts, add your comments when you feel it appropriate.
I have a feeling that you could be a valued member here
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Post by seleena on Feb 16, 2006 14:07:12 GMT
Me,
Don't ever apologize for what you feel. There are people worst off than me too. :-) I wanted to share my story with you, so you would know that life is definately worth living. Share your story with others too. What matters is what you do with your life. Whatever you are feeling is so important, don't ever trivialize that. I hope you will stay with the board. With us sharing our stories, maybe we can stop one person from acting on suicidal thoughts. It's not easy feeling the way you do and please don't ever feel that what your feeling is less than someone else. We all have to live our lifes and we all have experiences. What matters is you are here now and that you are reaching out. I am so thankful you did. Anytime you feel like life is too hard, reach out. If not to someone physically in your life, then to us.
Love and light dear one.
S
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Post by Ebony on Feb 16, 2006 21:16:05 GMT
dearest Me,
I am so glad you reached out to us and have decided to remain on this plane. It is so often that desperate people act before reaching out, and that is so sad.
We all have a place in the Divine Universe. When someone ends their presence early, their actions create a hole that cannot be filled.
The Universe only gives us what it knows we an handle. Our pain is real, regardless if someone else has more or less trauma in their lives.
I, too, carry a pharmacy of medications with me, have more in my cupboard, and have lost everything I have worked so hard to achieve. After 6 months of my new life, I have learned that doing without is not as bad as I thought it would be. Having the medical problems I have been given are not as bad as they could be.
This forum and others I'm on have helped tremendously in finding myself and accepting who I am.
I know that you will soon realize you are being guided toward something, and will discover a totally new way of thinking and living. Please come to us whenever you are sad, lonely, angry, or happy, and let us be here for you.
E
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Mouse
Novice
hey its Broken angel i changed my name since i am on the healing time
Posts: 97
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Post by Mouse on Feb 16, 2006 21:48:53 GMT
Hi again,
With every negitave thought form you
There will be a postive thought about you from us
Why give up your life in teh darkest time
The darkest hour
Teh postive bought me though
SHowed me Life is better than teh piture WE
see i hope this will also help you as it helped me
I would just love to say
People do love you do care?
You die something in them die with you
Don't let them suffer more because you killed yourselve
Luv, Broken Angel
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Post by aaron20 on Feb 23, 2006 1:51:51 GMT
now i feel selfish and stupid, my problems seem like nothing compared to what you had to battle, i dont know what i was thinking, thank you and sorry for my selfish atutude. you people have saved me from the worst possible fate and i am forever indebted to you all, especialy you seleena, now i know what you meen behind the reason why i found this forum and why i am here, why my mind was working that way i cant answer but i know their is a lot more people in the world a hell of a lot worse than me. now its my turn to help and stop being sorry for myself, you are all life savers thank you Hey me, There are alot of people that have it worse then you or I. I was suicidal at 9. My dad just died. and I was in literall hell. I was with a mom that was off...and well she's still not all there. I don't like the way she is and al that...but she's my mom. That has taken me over 10 years to get to this point. But your thoughts and your opinions...One person can be raped and another person you'r problems can land you in the EXACT down feeling that a rap person feels. It happens I know it can. I'v seen it. We all go through our own hell. I don't know if your still here cause haven't replied in a long time. If you'r reading this. Know that pain is pain. It's not pleasurable. You don't want to do that. There is hope. Omg there is. There is beauty in this world if you just look through the BS man. There are always people to help. You'r not crazy. You'r not. You should maybe go the to doc's and see if it's mentallly. See my mom is a manic depressive. So when I get down like you..and feel those thoughts I know that it's not really me speaking. It's comforting knowing that it's My mom's sickness and that it's just a mental sickness. It's not that you are crazy or wrong ..it's just something that you got. Can take drugs...adn precautions. go out and see a movie. Go out and go to the mall. Go to the batting cage's just GET OUT and go do something. Trust me. Spend a few hours doing something and being a part in the world does take the sucidal thoughts down. It makes it bareable. Then I think you should see a couclor. They have free people you can go and talk to. Please go? Just once give it a shot. If you don't like the person then find another person. Just get help. People are here and they do love you. Even if maybe you'r not up to what THEY dream and hope for you....they still love you. And the reason's why you arn't what they are and maybe they put you down...that is there hang up. |
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