Why do i do this?

[py]

I should have left this job-but didnt my boss says "he needs me" to clean the restrooms run deliveries all over the place..cater...today i saw his true colors once again and i am hurt...He loves girls-all men do usually but he hires these 19-21 year olds and plays with t hem like a boy in high school-blond blue eyed;brunette cute blue eyes, cute body, looks matterin this world. not sure if he hired her but there is a young black girl with dreds...she is failing miserably at serving but he wont even take the time to work with her...help her...but he will work with and feed and help the little blonde girl he hired.he let the new girl take tables and she doesnt even now how to ring in orders or ring a credit card.he told the little black girl to follow me today-show her what to do. then when he released me from the floor and i asked what he would like her to do, he told me 'let the next manager handle it when he comes in' then proceeded to tell the little black girl to sweep the floor, do dirty work while he playes games and flirts with the blonde girl.
i cried at the hurt of it all-no direction unless your cute-no chances unless you have a bang up body...someone you would want to F****.
i am black
not cute
but i wonder how our black ladies will get anywhere if no one will give them a chance if they are not cute enough;
i am not jealous
i dont want to be white
but when do things change?