Post by bluedreamer on Aug 5, 2008 20:38:53 GMT
Ok, I need advice. I'm not sure that I'll take it as I'm not really sure where I'm going or what I'm doing right now but...it might be helpful.
The thing is this: 17 years ago I met my husband and his best friend both on the same day and both within minutes of each other. Both of them liked me. I was young and superficial and chose the younger and better looking of the two...We have all three been together as best friends for all of these years. Over the years my husband and I have had many MANY problems, our friend has married, had children, and divorced, but as friends we are as close as best friends can get. Within the last 5 years I have begun realizing that I don't love my husband more than as a friend, and within the last month I have realized that I made a huge mistake turning down my best friend. I have feelings of more than friendship for the friend and even though I still love my husband because of all of the history we have together and the friendship that we have together, I have been feeling like I should change the dynamic here. I may have been precipitous however...I had been looking into polyamory because of my feelings for both of them and I told him about it. He was all for it and impulsively I gave in to more than I should have before I was even aware of what I was doing. When I broached the subject with my husband he was adamantly against the idea. And now I am stuck with the choice of leave my husband and possibly never be friends again with him and perhaps get together with the best friend, or work it out with my husband and try very hard to forget my feelings for the best friend. Either way I'm sure things will never be the same among us three. I really wish that I could have everything that I want but I guess that's life. I just don't know where to go from here....
The thing is this: 17 years ago I met my husband and his best friend both on the same day and both within minutes of each other. Both of them liked me. I was young and superficial and chose the younger and better looking of the two...We have all three been together as best friends for all of these years. Over the years my husband and I have had many MANY problems, our friend has married, had children, and divorced, but as friends we are as close as best friends can get. Within the last 5 years I have begun realizing that I don't love my husband more than as a friend, and within the last month I have realized that I made a huge mistake turning down my best friend. I have feelings of more than friendship for the friend and even though I still love my husband because of all of the history we have together and the friendship that we have together, I have been feeling like I should change the dynamic here. I may have been precipitous however...I had been looking into polyamory because of my feelings for both of them and I told him about it. He was all for it and impulsively I gave in to more than I should have before I was even aware of what I was doing. When I broached the subject with my husband he was adamantly against the idea. And now I am stuck with the choice of leave my husband and possibly never be friends again with him and perhaps get together with the best friend, or work it out with my husband and try very hard to forget my feelings for the best friend. Either way I'm sure things will never be the same among us three. I really wish that I could have everything that I want but I guess that's life. I just don't know where to go from here....