Post by Sophy on Mar 26, 2006 4:23:08 GMT
Okay, this is going to sound really petty and bitchy, but it's all so true and my friend and I are just so frustrated, and have no idea what to do about it.....
Last year, I switched schools and quickly became tight with someone-to protect the innocent, we'll call her R. However, as I soon found out, R was also best friends with another girl, who we'll call E. Both R and I were happy to be three best friends, because as time wore on, E and I also became really good friends. But towards the end of last year, the trouble started.
E was acting up-becoming extremely competitive, whiny, attention-seeking, bitchy, manipulative, rude, and more. In fact, she even went out with a guy she KNEW I really really liked, but we'll get to that later. So I was hanging out with R, just us, and it turned out that this was not the first time E was acting up. Apparently, all the years that R and E had been tight before I came along, E had been walking all over R for ages!! Now R is so sweet, and generous, and kind and caring and forgiving that she didn't even mention it to anyone. E can be so domineering and manipulative that poor little R didn't even realize she was being used. I'll give you an example....
(In health class, E and R are sitting next to eachother, in equal distance of the tissue box.)
E: R, get me a tissue.
And R won't even say anything, just get up and give her a tissue. No thank you or a smile or anything from E.
E is rude. She's a bitch. She makes mean and unnecessary comments. She eavesdrops and she LITERALLY requests attention. She tries to make people feel bad and etc. etc. She blows things out of proportion and she's overdramatic.
And then I come along, and I don't take crap from anyone! As soon as I found out how terrible E was to R, I was sort of coaching R to be more assertive and stand up for herself against E, and it really has worked. The sad thing is that R, E and myself all used to be best friends, but E has driven EVERYONE away and then makes a big deal out of it. She also uses R as her vent for anger, so if I freak out at E, E will exaggerate and end up blaming it on R somehow. She's a monster, and I feel this incredible sadness when I picture my best friend being tortured by her for eight years.
We don't know what to do about her-we've talked about it, and we've even talked to other people-and we've even tried to change her attitude or SOMETHING that won't make our skin crawl when she opens up her mouth to complain about something.
For another specific example:
R, E, and do a sport called crew. you probably don't know it, a lot of people don't. Anyway, there's a person called a Cox sitting at the front of the boat directing the rowers, and you race. it sounds lame, but i'll explain in full detail later. so bizarrely, the assignments for the boat include R in 3 seat, E in 2 seat, and me in bow seat, or 1. you aren't allowed to talk in the boat unless you're the cox, and you have to row synchronized with everyone else or the whole boat gets offset, stops, and you can flip over.
well, E has like a running commentary the whole time, which distracts both E and R from rowing, and since I sit behind E I have to follow her lead rowing, so then all three of us get out of sync. she also keeps splashing me and in march, the river is FREEZING COLD, and i happen to be developing one. also seeing as you can't speak in the boat, when E is chattering on R can't tell her to shut up-but I don't know if she'd be assertive enough to.
I'm not sure if anyone will read this-but if you do, have you ever been in a situation like this? What will we do with E, who's clinging to both R and I like we're her life support?
And on a completely unrelated note, I have a race tomorrow, and it's my first, so wish me luck
(I just hope E doesn't splash me while we're racing!!)
Last year, I switched schools and quickly became tight with someone-to protect the innocent, we'll call her R. However, as I soon found out, R was also best friends with another girl, who we'll call E. Both R and I were happy to be three best friends, because as time wore on, E and I also became really good friends. But towards the end of last year, the trouble started.
E was acting up-becoming extremely competitive, whiny, attention-seeking, bitchy, manipulative, rude, and more. In fact, she even went out with a guy she KNEW I really really liked, but we'll get to that later. So I was hanging out with R, just us, and it turned out that this was not the first time E was acting up. Apparently, all the years that R and E had been tight before I came along, E had been walking all over R for ages!! Now R is so sweet, and generous, and kind and caring and forgiving that she didn't even mention it to anyone. E can be so domineering and manipulative that poor little R didn't even realize she was being used. I'll give you an example....
(In health class, E and R are sitting next to eachother, in equal distance of the tissue box.)
E: R, get me a tissue.
And R won't even say anything, just get up and give her a tissue. No thank you or a smile or anything from E.
E is rude. She's a bitch. She makes mean and unnecessary comments. She eavesdrops and she LITERALLY requests attention. She tries to make people feel bad and etc. etc. She blows things out of proportion and she's overdramatic.
And then I come along, and I don't take crap from anyone! As soon as I found out how terrible E was to R, I was sort of coaching R to be more assertive and stand up for herself against E, and it really has worked. The sad thing is that R, E and myself all used to be best friends, but E has driven EVERYONE away and then makes a big deal out of it. She also uses R as her vent for anger, so if I freak out at E, E will exaggerate and end up blaming it on R somehow. She's a monster, and I feel this incredible sadness when I picture my best friend being tortured by her for eight years.
We don't know what to do about her-we've talked about it, and we've even talked to other people-and we've even tried to change her attitude or SOMETHING that won't make our skin crawl when she opens up her mouth to complain about something.
For another specific example:
R, E, and do a sport called crew. you probably don't know it, a lot of people don't. Anyway, there's a person called a Cox sitting at the front of the boat directing the rowers, and you race. it sounds lame, but i'll explain in full detail later. so bizarrely, the assignments for the boat include R in 3 seat, E in 2 seat, and me in bow seat, or 1. you aren't allowed to talk in the boat unless you're the cox, and you have to row synchronized with everyone else or the whole boat gets offset, stops, and you can flip over.
well, E has like a running commentary the whole time, which distracts both E and R from rowing, and since I sit behind E I have to follow her lead rowing, so then all three of us get out of sync. she also keeps splashing me and in march, the river is FREEZING COLD, and i happen to be developing one. also seeing as you can't speak in the boat, when E is chattering on R can't tell her to shut up-but I don't know if she'd be assertive enough to.
I'm not sure if anyone will read this-but if you do, have you ever been in a situation like this? What will we do with E, who's clinging to both R and I like we're her life support?
And on a completely unrelated note, I have a race tomorrow, and it's my first, so wish me luck
(I just hope E doesn't splash me while we're racing!!)
another time tho.. ). Let her know that her attitude should cease to exist.. and maybe it will get thro.. 
my sis even framed it for me