do i dont i?

[dezzhoudini]

i have recently came to the knowladge that im going to have my third child, a daughter and im over the moon but my first 2 children are my boys who i love like crazy and have no contact with since no matter how i try to be a farther to them and have any contact to them i am arrested for harrasment so i gave up trying,

but now i feel guilty that they will be brought up without their sister and dad because of their mother who is a good mother but selfish in many respects, feels that hidding her sinfull ways is ok

i am at a loss i dont want my daughter to grow up not knowing her big brothers iv tried contacting the mother of mt boys but she calls the police saying im harrasing her, but she has never been normal in the respect of family so she sees what she is doing as "normal"

i dont know what to do and i will never lie to my little girl when she is born and i already have recorded evidence of my boys mothers actions for when they are old enough to find me or break away from their some what strange family, but why should i wait and have my children brought up the way they were?

any ways i dont want to stray from my problem, can anyone give me advice on how my boys can know their little sister with out me having to use the court system. or should i just let my boys go and pretend they dont exist to keep their mom happy?

[Verminda Spirit]

Dezz, you are being given a second chance here, be the father you so desperately want to be.....

My son has never seen his father, and he also has about 3 brothers and 2 sisters that he has never seen ( he's 10 now ).....My son knows about them and when he asked questions i tell him what little i know......And thats all that you can do, when she starts to ask questions tell her what you know and be honest, but remember not to tarnish their mothers name, that will not make you look good in your daughters eyes and come to it, your sons....

Personally now and then i would send a few photos to your sons of your little girl that way they will have something to look at when they think about their sister, when they are all old enough, they will re unite and begin their relationship as brother and sister.....

I wish you all the best hun, enjoy being a father again......

[watershield]

Dezz, V has given some good advise here.

You need to stop attempting to contact your ex and your son's and move on.
Your dwelling on the past can drive a wedge between you and your new lady and I know you don't want that.

Send a photo of you and your new daughter at christmas every year. Keep the message simple, "thinking of you". When they are old enough, they will find you.
More than that, you can not do and should not not try.

[Ebony]

Dezz, as said, you need to move on. The best thing you can do is live from this day forward. Send your boys birthday cards and Christmas cards like WS says with a picture of you and their sister. It will show your sons that you still love them.

You have my blessings and wish you luck in your new life.

((Hugs))

[leonora]

it is true you do need to move on and yes you have been given a second chance. my partner has never seen his other son, who would be about 11 now, but he has got two lovelt kids with me and puts all his energy into them. he can't do nuts about his other son cause he doesn't know where he is, all he can do is hope that life is good to him.

[seleena]

Like everyone said, Dezz. Love your daughter like she is the most prescious gift in the world. That is how you can love your sons. Send them pictures each year of your daughter. When they want to contact her they will. Talk to your daughter, don't say bad things about the mother. She will be a woman some day and how she will be treated by men is very much based on her father. If you show her compassion and love - even with people you don't really like - she will have a positive role model for her life.