Why

[Broken Angel]

I am a girl a gril of 13 years old i have went through school bullied and left out when i get a friend they backstab me hurt me or use me.

Last year my life out side school was going to i was geting bullied there to by one girl and it got to me i ended Dpressed and suicidly. I slit my wrist never doing any harm still think how to kill myself mt days where dark my nights where darkier i did alot of writing then adn woundering on my own.

Somone who had seen my wrist reported me and i was caght sent to a shrink and kept gettinf asked teh same question why how what do you feel what is up i could not answere any of tehm i could not i don't know why i didn't knwo how to explain. How do you explain that your are torned and broken like an old ripped book how do explain to thoses who do care.

This year my life is up and down i am a dancer and i was going to give it all up by killing myself because there i was letting one girl get to me but at school its my whole year.

How stupid i had been

Two mouths ago a came back from sweeden as a world champ in two divisions. But since everythig started my life has been up and down i know have friends who care and peopel i love not that far away ( ok yeah different contries but you get the pic) but i lose people every day and they come back in school my life is still d**ned i am still hated no matter what i do my comping back champ made them hate me more

Why i want to know Why what have i done

[watershield]

First congratulation on the Dance Comp. It takes a lot of hard work to get good enough to compete. Well done.


From what I'm reading here, you haven't done anything to make any one mad at you.

But you do need to some thing that is going to be very hard to do.
You are being bullied at school. If they are bulling you, then they are probably bullying some one else. you need to help the others that are being bullied and yourself.

You need to go to the school councilor and tell them whats going on. You need to tell them how you feel and why. If it's easier for you, print this page off and hand it in, then you don't need to talk.

You are a special person. You had the courage to ask your question here, now you need to take the next step.
You can do it. You've already started.

[Mouse]

Thanks

That is what i was saying is it because i dress different liek teh color black

I am not bullieing anyone and i know that becasue i am teh one who is helping thoses who are in my class in the whole year i don't reply to threats or anything and don't repeat it to anyoe really but helping myself is another matter

(we do not have a school councilor heehee soz we have giudenice teachers) I do but that is what got me sent to the shrink she willnot belive i am being bullied becasue thoses that staretd it are teh two sided all bully on you and all sweet with everyone else and setting a charm which starts everyone else with the teachers is teh sweet thing with a charm. Thats a good idea but i am not doing my best in school but if they find out i haev grassed then i will not beable to try in school because it will be none stop threats no matter what i'll try.

Yeah easier said than done and i am not a speical person i am a stepping stone for those around me (No offence) I am to nice for my own good

I help thoses around
when mabye there just crying
I heal the wounds made
I open doors for peopel
when they can not
I'm a stepping stone to get to teh top
I'm just a girl that was stabed in the back
They will not care if i helped then or not
They will just step on me adn move on
saying that is that
no thank you
no Ta
no nothing
nothing to say
i am greatful
you helped me

[Verminda Spirit]

My dearest Dark Angel, what a brave girl you are, it takes a lot of guts to come and post your question here...I agree with everything Watershield has already said, speak to someone or failing that printing this page off is an excellent idea...

Any time you fell lost or confused and there is no one else to talk to, know that you can come here and seek some advice and guidance, we will all do what we can....

In the meantime hunie i will light a candle to help you find the strength to beat these bullies and to move on with your life, a much stronger indivudual...

And well done to you regarding the dance Competition and best of luck with future events... ..

Earth Angel...

[Verminda Spirit]

Broken Angel, i have realised that you are now a registered member would you like me to move your post to the members board?...

[Mouse]

Thank you that will be much help i will be going to my GT and tell her about a teacher who hates me and i will probally end up telling her but i might not i will have to wait and see hopefully i have the streagth and teh will and the voice to say...
Broken Angel

P.S thank you but i right know do not know if my dancing will contine after this year

[Verminda Spirit]

Broken Angel check out this link, i hope it helps...

www.bullying.co.uk/

Earth Angel...

[Chris]

Broken Angel here is how you can handle Bullies.

1. Turing Insults into Compliments. Ignore the bully's words and pretend they have said something nice. If you can't think of anything else to say, you can always say, "Thank You."

2. Asking Questions. Bullies and pest don't really think. They aks out of habit. Questions make people think.

3. Agreeing. Bullies expect people to disagree with them. When someone agrees, they are surprised.

i have went through school bullied and left out when i get a friend they backstab me hurt me or use me

It is so easy to see the harmfulness of negative traits in others that make a friendship less than ideal. But could there possible be just a little destructive or harmul behavior in you? Of course, it's threatening to see anything in you that is attracting destructive friends (Who then betray and disappoint you). There is just too much evidence supporting the age-old concept that "like attracts like."

So, Broken Angel if it is true that like atttracts like, what does it say about you if you are attracting destructive or harmful friends?

If you approach every interaction with a negative point of view, you may also perceive betrayal in a friendship when none was intended. In this case, either you or your friend has to change how you process your words and actions. What do you say to yourself about a particular friend or friendship you may of had? Do you tell yourself that it's a wonderful friendship and your lucky to have that friend in your life? Or are you dwelling on why it's a negative friendship and that you should get rid of it? How much is real and how much is a self-fulfilling prophecy? If you start viewing your friend or a particular friendship as a positive, prehaps you will see the positive in it.

Positive, healthy friendships that last can help raise your self-esteem. But poor self-esteem may cause you to sabatage your friendships or avoid friendships all together, reinforcing your poor self-worth.

i am still hated no matter what i do my comping back champ made them hate me more

Why i want to know Why what have i done

It is quite obvious that your friends are jealous of your success. But understand that everybody is going to have feelings of anger and jealousy, no matter how much they care about you or like you. You've got to realize it's their agenda, not your agenda.

[Ebony]

Sweetie, I can tell that you are an intelligent young lady with a lot of good in you. Watershield and Earth Angel have given you some good advice. I'd like to add that sometimes bullies are so insecure they have to bully and put down others to feel good about themselves. This does NOT give them the right to treat others with disrespect.

Any time you fell lost or confused and there is no one else to talk to, know that you can come here and seek some advice and guidance, we will all do what we can....

This is a great place to come when you need to vent and get advice. There are wonderful people here with loads of wisdom to share with you. There might be times when you need immediate help and can't wait for our responses, so I want you to do me a favor.

This is the phone number of the National Suicide Hotline [phone] keep it with you at all times. If you have any thoughts or feelings of suicide, PLEASE, call them before you go any further.

Here is another number: 1-800-273-8255 These people are here if you just need someone to talk to when there is no one else that will listen.

Keep a journal. Write poetry. Draw and paint. These are great ways to vent your anger and express your emotions, and are very therapeutic. Don't throw away your beautiful life because some immature kids are hurting your heart. They will not be around for long, so try your best to just ignore them for now.

I'm not a doctor but I'd like you to talk to yours next time you have a check-up. Have your mum schedule one if you need to. There may be a medical issue going on that he/she could help with.

Remember there are people out here that love you and we know that you are a beautiful spirit.

HUGS

[Mouse]

I do remmber i have told a techer half the story but i cannot tell her all i told uses its hard to say why i can;'t i start friendship with positive attetued i hope lol i thnak all of uses for your help and i will take it all into acount

I do all thoses things i keep jornals and write songs poems and storys draw and paint and even channel my emotions know into my dancing becuase i am getting confidence back i can feel it in myself and see it in my dancing i am starting to glow again wih happiness.

I do have a good friend in school i found that know we fought alot know we notice we are teh same and are liek sisters. She is really nice looking but she makes me laughe and makes me happy by saying a boy lieks me when it would be her he likes she makes me smile she makes me teh fun loving girl i was and still can be

I think i might do the thank you thing it made me smile reading that again thank you don't worry i no longer hurt myself i noticed how much i loved life mabye not in school and wanted to stay alive after my zillon tempts and happy i did. My carrer in dance is allready liooking up lol

hank you again all of uses

[seleena]

Sweetie, I can tell you I know how you feel. I was bullied all through school. Like you I was different and didn't fit in the norm of the other girls. Unlike you I wasn't a graceful swan, I was a tomboy with no boobs who looked like a boy.

I can tell you that as hard as it is now, things do get better. You haven't gotten great advise. I can understand your concern about telling someone. If you have a teacher you can trust and who knows you they should be able to at least listen and keep an eye out for you.

My bullies were "nice" girls who wouldn't do that also. I can tell you that living a good life is wonderful revenge. Most of the time these girls are insecure and come from abusive homes. The only thing they can control is the person they bully. I found out years later that my bullies came from such a home. The sad part is one wound up married to an abusive man and the other wound up pregnant and on welfare at a very young age. Anger attracks anger which is why abused people become abusers and marry abusers. Love attracks love.

Don't leave your dancing, you will regret it. It is your expressive outlet and who you are. You can't control the bullies but you can control how you react to them. Don't let them strip you of the essense of who you are. You are a beautiful young woman and should look in the mirror and define who you are. Don't let them have that power. Without power, they are powerless. Take your power back and succeed dispite them. Trust me, in the end you will be thankful you did.

Don't ever think that it won't end. It will. IT's not easy going through it but it does make you a stronger more compassionate person. My daughter is going through it now too. The very thing I wouldn't want for anyone. She is very small for her age and a sports nuts so gets picked on. She is in karate and put one of her abusers in a headlock. It helped. It was funny actually.

For her part, we also found that she was pouty and sulky and complained a lot. This attracted the attention of these people. She has come to realize that it is not her fault, but she didn't help herself with her attitude. Through looking at her and trying to raise her self esteme along with a teacher who believes her, things are slowy improving. It's not easy. She won't mould herself to what they want, which I completely respect. We have helped her with her self esteem with Karate and lots of hugs and reasurance. Many nights of tears and consoling. She is getting through it one day at a time. She will be 13 in April, so similiar in age.

It's easy to say, but you are 13. School is finished in 4-5 years. I hope it won't be that long as it feels forever. My bullies didn't stop until Grade 12. It felt like it would never end, but it did. Most bullies stop by Grade 9 or 10. So I pray that it will end soon for you. You have 70+ years of life we hope and most will be good. Some years will be hard, but most important is that you will live those years and make wonderful memories to replace the ones you are making now. I am 43. (Yes I am old) I look back on those years as not happy, but I have had so many happy years since, that I am thankful everyday that I didn't commit suicide and miss out on the many years I have been here since. I look back and realize that those years have made me strong and respect myself. I don't take crap off anyone and I look in the mirror with pride and love. I want that for you too.

Love yourself first, sweetie. See what we all see. Come and rant anytime you need a rant. Email me if you want. I can give you my daughter's email and you can help each other. You are worth fighting for.

Love and light,

Seleena

[Mouse]

Thank you that (no offence anyone else) has been the most helpful of all.
i will try and do what you have suggested. Since i hit first place and bet this one girl i have seen in my dacning i have a tiny glimer of confidence. Those that i dance with are all older than me but there are being really helpful with out knowing it i think because one said i was good enough to win and become the youngest Rising star. MY cha has become more sasy and my smoth more sexy my waltz makes me cry because i have had to find ways to exprese my feelings i used this and ppoured my heart and soul and felt it showing in my dancing teh music helped because it was about sometiong slipping just out of your grasp.

My life is on the up just know there will be more bumps i know that know i will face them head on instead of hiding them and leaving them

Broken Angel

[watershield]

Hey BA
Sounds like our broken angle is on the mend ;D

First place...congratulations and very well done
If you can do a sasy cha, you've already got more confidence than i have.

Good on Ya! ;D

[aaron20]

You know My mom is a person that has this illusions as to what is Civilized and what isn't. She's stuck up and use to put Me down at every turn. Maybe ti's something I'm watching on tv. I'm not watching enough Bravo..channel for the art's. I too was bullyied. If Dancing is what gives you pleasure and you enjoy it and you get something deep out of it and means alot to you. Then to hell with what they feel and think. To hell with them. for whatever reason there is always been and will be a part of human nature that is jelous and vengful. They feel threatned by you. For whatever it is. Part of it is threatned. Glad feeling better though.

[Mouse]

its not teh best sasy cha but its got a bit more flare than teh flat no cha i used ta do lol if i get anof teh demos or routens on teh comp i might post them not sure we will see lol

I am on the mend i hope

Broken angel